Happy Wednesday!
Few people are having a happier Wednesday than President of the United States, Joe Biden, who is thriving now that the world is paying attention to a different world leader who is mysteriously lurking in the shadows due to an unknown ailment.
What began as a mysterious absence from public view beginning last December has led to a sudden planned-yet-not-originally-planned-for-right-now abdominal surgery, which has now led to a deep air of intrigue and public mistrust as to what is really going on with England’s favorite princess.
Princess Kate, in a desperate attempt to prove she is alive and well, released an image for British Mother’s Day…
…that left viewers believing that she is anything but live and well.
The continuing desperation to cover up some secret is only making things worse and leaving people to come to their own conclusions about what is really going on. We hope that whatever is happening with Princess Kate is resolved soon and that she is happy and healthy. We look forward to seeing her new Jellyfish Haircut whenever she’s ready.
It’s no secret that our own leader, Joe Biden, is suffering from his own health ailments which he downplays and keeps quiet. The only time he actively shed light on his health deficiencies was when he was a young and spry lad desperately trying to avoid going to war.
Other than that, the Biden team tries to keep his problems very hush-hush.
But much as Kate Middleton has realized, there are only so many optical illusions you can pull to successfully distort a secret. And Joe Biden is very bad at secrets.
As we predicted before the speech last week, Joe Biden’s State of Union was anything but a statement about the State of the Union. The entire production included a whole lot of yelling and scolding, and most of the substance was about how we continue to meddle in other country’s problems.
However, the State of the Union speech was never meant for Biden to declare the State of the Union. It was meant to show that he is very much “alive” and “well.”
And to prove he could walk to the podium without falling!
The four days of rest and preparation at Camp David, plus the floating dock of IV injections ministered to him was enough to keep his heart pumping throughout the hour long speech.
Biden also used up all of his vigor on Thursday night that he had none left for the handful of public appearances he had over the weekend.
Biden’s in such a failing state that he can’t even give a statement without having his doctor by his side.
Yet none of this is surprising. Not only have we known this all along, but this sort of braindrained semi-functioning creature is exactly who Special Counsel Robert Hur was describing in his report a few weeks ago, which he reiterated in front of Congress on Tuesday.
Joe Biden undoubtedly knew what he was doing when he recklessly pulled and stored an exorbitant amount of classified documents and shoved them next to his corvette.
(For those who don’t know, a corvette is a car that goes *vroom* * vroom*, as Biden explained twice to investigators.)
Robert Hur is not arguing that Biden is off the hook for mishandling classified documents, but that if he were put on the hook for mishandling classified documents, that a jury would likely find him to be a well-meaning feeble old man who would garner too much sympathy.
But what needs to be identified is that while Joe Biden has not always been old, but he has always been bad at keeping secrets.
Do you remember the time that Joe Biden stood mindlessly, zoning out while holding a binder in front of the public that said CODEWORD CLASSIFIED DOCUMENT?
Luckily the contents of the folder was not actually on display, only his malarkey brain.
When his notes are not in a folder, he loves flashing his notecards to the press.
And oftentimes, those notecards are hiding the fact that he has secret fact-sheets about those very reporters!
We know Joe Biden likes to hide in a basement, he publicly wore that as a badge of honor during the 2020 election.
Long before the days of COVID, Biden revealed while Vice President, that he also had a hideout in the basement. The problem is, that hideout was actually the secret bunker that Secret Service needed to quietly hide him in if anything happened.
Way to go, Joe.
As Robert Hur revealed, Biden had the documents laid so sloppily around his house that it’s likely they saw many pictures of a bikini-clad Jill Biden laying around there as well.
While Senator, Joe Biden was even busted secretly trying to buy Jill more lingerie at Victoria’s Secret in Union Station, so he had to pivot with his plan and buy some gray sweatpants.
At least she’ll finally have something to cover over her bikini!
We’ve seen how much Biden has lied during the Presidential debates. Little did we know how much he was lying during the Vice Presidential debates too.
I guess Biden doesn’t talk about classified information (at least not with anyone other than foreign agents who have his son on the payroll), he just hoards classified information is boxes around the country.
A few years ago, the University of Delaware was thrilled to receive loads of Biden files that were for their eyes only. It’s a mystery as to what secrets lie betwixt those files, but there are many documents that are presumed to be in there that are kept well hidden by people other than Joe.
The secret to Joe’s success of keeping things private is to give the information to other people to protect. Which is probably why he passes on off-the-record information along to everybody else.
It’s astonishing as to why a man that is so tired and old wants to run for another term instead of just retire from public office and live a happy life.
Oh, maybe this is what is keeping him from doing that…
Well no wonder Biden refuses to leave office! Since that’s the case, let’s keep the public thinking Biden is alive and well, and keep those documents hidden for at least another six years.
See you next week!
-Kate
My look through the old family photo album reminded me it's been 62 months since we had a robust game of Hang Man.
I was traveling last week so I didn't check my emails. Better late than never. As always I enjoy the news you bring to light that nobody else does.